Our little speedy... One of my favorite Wrigley pictures.
Our Wrigley was hit by a car last Thursday night. He was rushed to the emergency vet right away, given pain medication and thankfully, he slept through the night. The next morning, he died in his sleep.
Our little family is completely devastated.
It's very hard to say everything I've been feeling, and even harder to write it down. I've never lost anyone dear to me, and I loved that little dog more than I've loved most people. He came into my life right when I needed him most. He was my first dog and he was my hero.
I miss everything about him. I miss the way he felt and the weight of his body on my lap. I miss how he'd yawn so loudly and dramatically - I think it was to get our attention. I miss feeling his nose on the back of my legs as I walked around the house. He followed us everywhere. When he was a puppy, he'd even poke his curious head inside the curtain while I was taking a shower to see what I was up to.
I miss seeing him run. I could watch him run for hours.
He was so silly, with so much personality, unlike any dog I've ever met. And despite how wild and rambunctious he was, he'd always stop to allow me to hold his little head in my hands and look into his eyes. Every morning when I sat in the floor, pulling my clothes out of the laundry basket, he'd push his way into my lap and bear his head into my chest for good morning hugs. He liked to sniff our ears and we'd sniff back, and he'd listen closely as if decoding a secret message. He was a mad man, playful and macho, but as soon as Kurt would cradle him like a baby, he'd just melt into his arms like he'd gone to heaven.
It's hard because he was just here. He was so alive, and now he's not. It is hard for me to believe in heaven, and believe me, I've tried. I wish I could dream up a heaven and keep him there. I wish it were as easy as making a wish. I know he's still around - he's turned into all sorts of things. He's in our memories, and in the way I behave and think and love.
***I'm really proud of how Kurt and I have helped each other get through this. He had to be the one to break the news to me, so I know that it has been even harder on him ... I am so lucky that we get to spend the rest of our lives together.
We loved Wrigley so much, and we know we gave him a happy life.
We've been thinking about this a lot ... we love dogs and feel like we owe it to Wrig to welcome another little puppy into our home someday soon. To be honest, our lives seem to revolve around dog ownership - everything we love to do involves being outdoors with them, and I know they enjoy our company as much we do theirs. We miss the energy and mischief that comes with having a young pup, and Mule misses his friend. Without that dynamic, we feel like our lives are in chaos. No dog can ever replace Wrigley, and only time can make it better, but we think another buddy would bring some happiness and comfort into our lives. We are capable of loving another just as much- just in a different way. A new dog with a different personality, and that is okay.
I am so grateful for the wonderful times we had with Wrigley. Up to this point, his life spanned the greatest months of my life. This is probably my grief talking, but sometimes I think, if I could only just relive that short time over and over, I would do it. He was the world to me. I will never forget him.