1.30.2009

My favorite discovery.

I love finding abandoned grocery lists at the supermarket. Such an exciting discovery - guaranteed to improve my day by one hundred percent.

It usually happens like this: List is spotted, my eyes light up, my heart beats faster. Casually, discreetly, I scan the area for the list's possible owner. I always scan my surroundings before snatching up a list, trying to mask my excitement, similar to how one retrieves a stray five dollar bill from a parking lot. The owner could be lingering nearby, fumbling through a coupon book or assessing the firmness of a tomato. If it truly is abandoned, the list must be placed face-up in the top basket of my shopping cart. I immediately devour the details, silently judging the author's eating habits, thought process, handwriting and stationary. I'll go on to conjure up stories about the author, their clothing style, their estimated life-span, etc. Sometimes I'll add a random item to the list and plant it somewhere obvious for another person to find. Last time I believe I added poop to a list. At the time, I thought this was very hilarious.

Well, can you imagine my excitement when I discovered GroceryLists.org? An entire database of abandoned grocery lists from all over the country. Years worth. They made a book out of it.


My favorites:



3 comments:

  1. What's going on? I am trying to post a legitimate post on your other post and it's not working.

    Did I ever tell you about the time I saw a proper chef in full get-up at Bardstown Road Kroger, wearing a hat and everything, with a shopping cart that only had hot dogs in it?

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  2. My experience in the culinary field has led me to believe that anybody who wears their tunic outside of the kitchen is an attention mongering anus. It's like a ballerina wearing a tutu into the doctor's office.

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  3. these are hilarious... who knew?

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